Saturday, January 16, 2010

Funny Birthday Quotes

Funny Birthday Quotes

1. "Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty."
2. "Thirty five is a very attractive age; London society is full of women who have of their own free choice remained thirty-five for years."
3. "Inside every older person is a younger person - wondering what the hell happened."
4. "Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative."
5. "You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime."
6. "Age is a number and mine is unlisted."
7. "A well-adjusted woman is one who not only knows what she wants for her birthday, but even knows what she's going to exchange it for."
8. "The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age."
9. "Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair."
10. "As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two."
11. "Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once."
12. "When I have a birthday I take the day off. But when my wife has a birthday, she takes a year or two off."
13. "The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left."
14. "Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter."
15. "You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."
16. "You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime."
17. "A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age."
18. "Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional."
19. "A woman has the age she deserves."
20. "Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough."
21. "Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act."
22. "Men grow old, pearls grow yellow, there is no cure for it."
23. "Life is one long process of getting tired."
24. "Let us respect gray hairs, especially our own."
25. "Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you have not committed."
26. "When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not."
27. "Call this an unfair generalization if you must, but old people are no good at everything."
28. "Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen."
29. "Of late I appear To have reached that stage When people who look old Who are only my age"
30. "I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius."

Friday, January 15, 2010

Funny Birthday Quotes

Funny Birthday Quotes

Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.
- Jean Paul Richter

Let us celebrate the occasion with wine and sweet words.
- Plautus

Birthdays? yes, in a general way;
For the most if not for the best of men:
You were born (I suppose) on a certain day:
So was I: or perhaps in the night: what then?
- James Kenneth Stephen

From our birthday, until we die,
Is but the winking of an eye.
- William Butler Yeats

There are three hundred and sixty-four days when you might get un-birthday presents ... and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll

We turn not older with years, but newer every day.
- Emily Dickinson

We are always the same age inside.
- Gertrude Stein

Old age: A great sense of calm and freedom. When the passions have relaxed their hold, you may have escaped, not from one master but from many.
- Plato

the birthday of my life
Is come, my love is come to me.
- Christina Georgina Rossetti

No wise man ever wished to be younger.
- Jonathan Swift

One of the signs of passing youth is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other human beings as we take our place among them.
- Virginia Woolf

The greatest comfort of my old age, and that which gives me the highest satisfaction, is the pleasing remembrance of the many benefits and friendly offices I have done to others.
- Marcus Cato

May you live all the days of your life.
- Jonathan Swift
cake The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet.
- Robert Orben

Grow old along with me!
The best is yet to be, the last of life, for which the first was made.
- Robert Browning

Inside every older person is a younger person -
wondering what the hell happened.
- Cora Harvey Armstrong

Oh to be seventy again.
- Georges Clemenceau, upon seeing a pretty girl on his eightieth birthday

Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative.
- Maurice Chevalier

Getting old ain't for sissies.
- Betty Davis

Of late I appear
To have reached that stage
When people who look old
Who are only my age.
- Richard Armour

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain

I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
- Phyllis Diller

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's
birthday but never remembers her age.
- Robert Frost

You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.
- John P. Grier

If I'd known I was going to live this long (100 years),
I'd have taken better care of myself.
- Ubie Blake

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.
- C.E.M. Joad

Let us respect gray hairs, especially our own.
- J. P. Sears

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Funny birthday quotes

Funny birthday quotes

My birthday!--what a different sound
That word had in my youthful ears;
And how each time the day comes round,
Less and less white its mark appears.
- Thomas Moore

Age is a high price to pay for maturity.
- Tom Stoppard

A birthday:—and now a day that rose
With much of hope, with meaning rife—
A thoughtful day from dawn to close:
The middle day of human life.
- Jean Ingelow

If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes.
- Euripides

Growing old is like being increasingly penalized
for a crime you have not committed.
- Anthony Powell

Call this an unfair generalization if you must,
but old people are no good at everything.
- Moe, from the Simpsons

Old people are fond of giving good advice; it consoles them for no longer being capable of setting a bad example.
- Francois De La Rochefoucauld
Milestone Birthdays
20th Birthday Quotes

At 20 years of age the will reigns; at 30 the wit; and at 40 the judgment.
- Ben Franklin

Live as long as you may. The first twenty years are the longest half of your life.
- Robert Southey

35th & 30th Birthday Quotes

Everything I know I learned after I was thirty.
- Georges Clemenceau

Time and Tide wait for no man,
but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.
- Robert Frost

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Funny Birthday Quotes

Funny Birthday Quotes

"Ping pong or how the Chinese say: ping pong"
Feng

"Gives wax off a whole new meaning."
Randy Daytona

After defeating a young girl: "Don't be so hard on yourself, you got maad skills."
[Randy gets punched in the balls]
Randy Daytona

Randy Daytona: "You killed him..."
Feng: "Well duh, what part of sudden death didn't you understand?"

"Who the hell said take the cricket from my hand?"
Master Wong

"Mmmm... tastes good!"
The Hammer, after licking trophy

Randy: "You got me swatting flies now?"
Master Wong: "Not hit flies. You hit bees!"

"You are the greatest player I have ever seen. Besides my self, practicing in front of a mirror... which I do... everyday... in the nude."
Karl Wolfschtagg

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Funny birthday quotes

Nothing works better than the gift of laughter. So, spread the joy with these funny birthday quotes. Make your loved ones' birthdays memorable.

Anonymous
Birthdays are nature's way of telling us to eat more cake.

Steven Wright
Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang, 'Happy Birthday.'

Samuel Johnson
The return of my birthday, if I remember it, fills me with thoughts which it seems to be the general care of humanity to escape.

Father Larry Lorenzoni
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.

Robert Frost
Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.

Erma Bombeck
A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.

Mary Schmich
Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.

George Burns
People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.

Robert Frost
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

John Glenn
There is still no cure for the common birthday.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Funny birthday quotes

My wife hasn’t had a birthday in 4 years. She was born in the year of …………. Lord-only-knows

Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.

About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age.

For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.

Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese.

Thirty five is a very attractive age; London society is full of women who have of their own free choice remained thirty-five for years.

Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.

Inside every older person is a younger person – wondering what the hell happened.

Age is a number and mine is unlisted.

When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m five I’ll be 64.

Live as long as you may. The first twenty years are the longest half of your life.

When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.

It is true that I was born in Iowa, but I can’t speak for my twin sister.

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.

Men are like wine: some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.

After 30, a body has a mind of its own.

If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes.

I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.

Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang, ‘Happy Birthday’.

Looking fifty is great – if you’re sixty.

The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.

Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.

Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.

People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.

Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.

The return of my birthday, if I remember it, fills me with thoughts which it seems to be the general care of humanity to escape.

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.

If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.

There is still no cure for the common birthday.

You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.

To me, old age is always 20 years older than I am.